I was in the laundry aisle at the grocery store, looking for my usual Arm & Hammer brand of laundry detergent, when I realized that they too were trying to trick me into paying twice as much for half the detergent. The oddly small bottle explains that it’s eco-friendly because the detergent is twice as concentrated, so they can pack just as big of a punch in a MUCH smaller bottle. I’m not so sure. I’m very concerned with sustainability and being a good steward of this beautiful planet, but I’ve also got a good eye for SCAM.

I saw this trend happening slowly over the course of the year; one by one, different brands changed their bottles and their “concentration”; for awhile you even had a choice of buying the old fashioned earth-hating sized container or the trendy new scam bottle. But the choice soon disappeared. Arm & Hammer was the last to convert at my particular store. I can no longer purchase a regular size bottle of laundry detergent, and I’m fucking pissed about it.

Why would I trust that they are doubling the concentration? And even if they are, most people (myself included) will go through the bottle twice as quickly anyways because we are conditioned to think that we need a certain amount of detergent to effectively clean our clothes. I find it hard to believe that every single laundry detergent making company decided to make the environment their top priority, and change their formula.

If I were an empty suit at a big corporation who got to make lousy decisions I’d think this whole idea was FABULOU$!!! Hey, let’s tell people the concentration is doubled, give them half as much, advertise it as earth-friendly, and charge twice as much! But we won’t really double the concentration, now will we? I mean, there is money to be made here, right? The economy is hurting right now, and my fourth wife needs her left tit blown up a bit more, it’s not quite proportionate. I could use some extra cash. And those oil guys think they’re the only ones that can play in the big leagues….

And most detergent consumers (er, everyone) might be a little dismayed about the industry-wide change, but the companies let us have a choice for a couple months to allow us to warm up to the idea. And now we’re all fucked. We’re paying assloads of money for midget soap.

As someone who actually is eco-conscious and not just earth trendy, I decided to find a way to make laundry detergent at home in great quantities. It’s my *silent* protest of stupidity and manipulative consumerism. Regardless of the size of their bottles, we’re all paying a very high price for something that is very easy to do ourselves. Rolling your own is CHEAP, EASY, and SAFE!

I scoured the web and found great instructions on The Simple Dollar’s site. After making several batches over the last few months I’ve settled with a recipe that works great for us, so I will share it with you!

Bair Clan Goop

1 Bar Fels Naptha Soap
1 Cup Washing Soda
1 Cup Borax
Lots of Hot Water

Shred the whole bar of Fels Naptha. Meanwhile, heat water in a pot to boiling. Add the shredded soap to boiling water, whisking slowly until all of the soap has melted into the water. Pour the soapy water into a 5 gallon bucket.

Add the washing soda and borax to the bucket. Whisk quickly to dissolve. Add extremely hot water to the rest of the bucket, stirring continually. When the bucket is full, cover it and let it sit for 24 hours.

When you open it, you’ll see that it has formed into a gelatinous, goopy mess! Just give it a stir and it will break up. You can use a funnel to pour it into old empty detergent bottles for easy use! One batch of this stuff lasts us about two months, and we do laundry frequently. It has also cleaned our clothes as well (and usually better) than store-bought detergent. Sometimes I add white vinegar and an essential oil (like lavender, eucalyptus, etc) to a downy ball and throw it in to freshen the clothes during the rinse cycle, but it’s not really necessary.

I should also mention that some websites recommend using Ivory soap in place of Fels Naptha, but I’ve tried this and nothing cleans as well as Fels Naptha. On our first iteration we actually used Irish Spring because had a bunch of it around. It sucked. Don’t even bother. The Ivory was ok, but Irish Spring (and other regular bar soaps, I assume) do not clean clothes, nor are they really meant to. Fels Naptha is actually meant for clothes.

Try this a couple times, and tweak the formula until it meets your needs! You’ll save lots of money on detergent, you’ll consume less awful plastic, and you might even enjoy knowing that you can make something you never thought regular old consumers could make themselves

And while you’re at the store picking up supplies, grab yourself a spray bottle, white vinegar and some lemon essential oil. Fill the spray bottle 1/3 of the way with vinegar and add water to the rest. Add a couple drops of the oil and you have yourself an extremely powerful, versatile all-purpose anti-bacterial cleaner that cleans windows, counter tops, tables, stoves, toilets, mirrors, and more! If your kid finds it and decides to drink it she won’t die! Non-toxic, homemade cleaners are another way to fight the war against corporate consumerism propaganda

Being unstable and bitchy is all part of my mystique

I’ve been a rubyist for three weeks now and it’s my turn to rant.

Only a few years ago it was “fringy” and incredibly cool to be a rubyist. There was an underground camaraderie/elitism between fellow Ruby pioneers. They realized they were onto something so discreetly awesome that they would have an oportunity to claim fame and fortune as this language was introduced to the masses over the next few years. And claim their fame they did. But alas, now that the language has become significantly mainstream and generally accepted as legit, these expats (Java devs enjoying a more trendy and carefree life in ruby_land) are now hurriedly disclaiming it before anyone has a chance to notice that they are doing something mainstream.

The Rails community is just as bad. It has a larger market share of ranters and they are especially prissy. Shitting on Ruby and Rails is coder couture and everyone’s jumping on the bandwagon. What most of them fail to realize is that Zed Shaw beat them all to it. They aren’t the first to disown rails, though they proclaim their hatred with such shocking fervor that you’d think they were. The ranters that followed him are just callously ripping apart the very language that freed them from their boring (insert crappy language) jobs and offered them the beauty of a minimalist coding atmosphere. They are acting like petulant children that were spoiled for 18 years by adoring and forgiving parents, only to turn around and rebel for the sake of rebellion.

I understand there are shortcomings in both Ruby and Rails. Neither platform solves all problems nor do they claim to; sure, some of their frontmen would have you believe it does and it’s been marketed as such in many cases, but most programmers realize that Ruby isn’t the end-all of programming languages. Ruby isn’t the answer to all programming questions. There are plenty of great languages out there and more will inevitably be created. The most frustrating thing about this is that both Ruby and Rails are open source. Any one of these trendy haters could learn some C and make it all better. But who wants to spend time contributing when there’s no money to be made or fame left to be had?

In the Rails community I think the issue of elitism has been the cause of a lot of friction and lashing out. Those who have been unfairly excluded from the Rails lunch table seem to be especially vigorous in their attempts to bring down the popularity of the language. Then there are those that come to Ruby or Rails on the promise of the language being the universal remedy and they are disappointed, hurt, confused, even a bit ashamed once they realize that this is just another programming language/framework. They act as though they are waking up naked in cold shower after prison sex. First comes shame, then outright rage.

I don’t care if these assholes left decent paying java jobs for this “revolutionary” ride and were disillusioned. They should have had the foresight that there is no panacea of greatness. There is no single solution. What ruby does offer is a more intuitive way of coding. Its form is simple. It’s full of grace. Ruby is succinct. It’s not the messiah of languages though it attracts many messiah-figures and their fanboy prototypes. There is a market for it, there are people that love to code it, and that’s about it. I don’t want to hear you rant on about it like some burned lunatic just because you think we all need turn around and follow you on your way out the door.

There should be healthy discussion about the shortcomings of programming languages. It draws a landscape for new ideas and solutions. It gets a community thinking and working together. But what I am so annoyed with are the reformed evangelicals that are all of a sudden declaring that “this shit ain’t cool no more” and expect everyone to throw up their hands and say “Oh wow great leader, you’re right. Let’s just go learn [Scala, Erlang, Clojure, Whatever].”

I’m aware I’m just as uncool for ranting on the topic even though I’m ranting about the ranters. But I’m not attempting to be cool, no one reads my blog anyway, and I’m a mother of two babies who spends her time wiping poopy butts and scraping peanut butter out of carpets. The biggest decision I have to make on any given day is whether or not it’s ok to serve them a piece of chicken that’s not organic and then hope that the growth hormones won’t give my daughter porn-sized boobs three months from now. I play video games, I code a bit here and there, but I have no claim to fame. I’ve been writing Ruby code for three weeks. Seriously.

Ruby gave our family a launch pad for success. My husband was a quiet early adopter and he’s worked happily with the language for a few years. He’s been able to find a job with a sweet company that lets him work from home. Which means that he gets to work in his boxers and t-shirt, is able to have PB&J’s with us at lunchtime, and is always home for dinner at 5pm. I am quite enjoying the solace that comes from not being neck deep in the rat race.

For myself, I’ve been learning to program with a language that doesn’t make me want to cry. I remember doing C++ and Java homework in CS classes in college; I do believe I have post-traumatic Java syndrome. It’s unbelievable even to me that I have dared to get into programming again. But Ruby is making it easy; even fun. I’m happy to code with it, and I’m happy to be enjoying the amenities of the lifestyle it has provided for us. I’m sure I’ll have qualms with some aspects of it someday. And it will be ok to voice them. It’s ok to bite the hand that feeds you. Just don’t bite it off.